Monday, February 27, 2017

Getting Over A Traumatic Experience: Car Accident

I have my moments where I am overcome with sad thoughts and it happens at the same time every year, though my accident was well in the past, I still experience the psychological traumas of it.

It seems like on the anniversary of it, I start reliving the bad experience from a distance. I start getting sick; even to the point of paralysis where I cannot get out of my bed or start experiencing all these pains in my body that hadn’t been there and make me ail.

I often wonder if I should be desensitized by the situation by now. I mean, my river of knowledge is far beyond that night and time when my accident occurred. So much time has passed and so many events have taken place and yet still, my near-death experience changed my whole entire world of limitless abundance and I am back to confusion, in a frenzy and in tears, and paralysis masks my joy.

My uncle made me realize that I am able to choose my response to life the day after it happened. While I was ready to stay in bed crying and blaming myself about what happened and thinking of all the terrible things that could have happened, including my head being cut off and my life coming to a sudden end, he was ready to make me feel like life was still worth living. My mind tends to flirt with all the could have would haves and then I feel depressed and sick and I stiffen in response to the memory on the anniversary. Sometimes I wonder if I will be latched to this event forever. I guess I am still seeking clarity of how something like that could have happened to me. I even sometimes taste fear of driving, synchronous to the anniversary date, on my tongue.  

I realized through this entire experience that if we dwell on dilemmas, we will never transcend the boundaries of them. I realized that what was encountered happened and cannot be changed because it is part of my history. I realized that it is unhealthy to live a life blaming yourself for something that happened or might have happened when it is well in the past and not my present reality. And I also realized that with my story, I can inspire others and help others who might have experienced something similar to me.

When I wrote the song, Enjoy Life, it was based on this situation. I wanted to slip away and forget that life still goes on regardless of what happened. The lyrics are based on my living, breathing history telling myself that I can still enjoy life even though life happened. 

By releasing my thoughts onto paper, I made it justifiable for me to move past it. And what made it even better for me was being able to get up on stage on the anniversary of my accident, to tell people about it and to sing to them my lyrics to “Enjoy Life” to let them know that it is okay to embrace each day to the fullness of it, regardless of our situations. 

Check out the music video for my song Enjoy Life here:

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Flashback: Stepping Back Into MY Day Dream

"Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner.
Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control
and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory."
Arthur Ashe

I was told to bring dresses, gowns and to look nice. I did not know what to pack, though I knew I would need to look red carpet worthy where it was most important; the most important being at the Tatarstan Filarmonia in Kazan, Russia.

I had waited for that moment for such a long time. I imagined it in my mind, never considering that my dream would come into fruition. And then it did and I had to be my best on the stage, regardless of the cold that the deep freeze of Russia was gripping me with.

I was like a pressure cooker about to explode with excitement at the reality that it was happening for real. The simple idea of it was something worth salivating over and finally, I was at the point where I could tweak the image in my mind like a filmmaker as I literally stumbled into the vivid situation.

I looked like I was serious about what I came to do and confident on the outside, but on the inside, I was hiding my fear of either coughing on the stage in the middle of a song or having a runny nose on the stage, during my performance. But I couldn’t deny the fact that I had finally reached a vision I had only saw in the REM of a daydream. Here are some other photos from that night as well as a piece of a performance that solidified the thought, "Yes, I am here, singing with an orchestra; "At Last!"

With Anatoliy, the condutor of the
Tatarstan Filarmonia Orchestra

With Oklahoman singer and my duet partner
at the Tatarstan Filarmonia in Kazan, Russia,  Tavis Minner

With the Tatarstan Filarmonia Orchestra

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Dust Yourself Off and Enjoy Life

A winner never quits., and a quitter never wins
Napoleon Hill

I had it all mapped out. I was going to venture this new territory and skate my way to challenging my fear of falling flat on my face. Confidently, I perched on a set of wheels beneath my feet thinking, I got this. However, I was so inundated with fear that I hardly wanted to walk with the skates on, though I had to in order to try skating for real.

At first, it was a guided situation. I was being pulled across the rink by the crutches of my friend’s hands, pulling me to skate. I floated right along with him but, every so often, I felt myself losing balance.

I decided that I could not let my entire time be spent that way. I wanted to try it on my own. All the possibilities of me skating on my own, were cooking. I got onto the rink by myself, but if it weren’t for the guard rail, I would not have been able to get on that slippery surface on my own, at all. 

I looked at my friends dancing and skating backwards and me, I was taking baby steps, holding on to the rail, all around. I actually was able to go around the rink three times. I feared falling and thank God I didn’t fall on the rink. Where I did fall was outside of the rink with skates on trying to walk down the little step down they had to get to the locker area. I am not writhing in pain and ironically, it was falling that fine-tuned my thinking and made me dust myself off, no longer fear falling and made me decide to get onto the rink by myself and without another’s assistance realizing that I am a masterpiece in progress.

I can’t believe that the simple act of skating made me pay close attention to my posture when I am walking. It made me feel okay with the speed of going slow so I could actually get comfortable with the motions. I also learned that what we gain is also what we lose. I gained confidence in trying and lost fear of falling and hurting myself. How cool is that?

Are you someone who enjoys the art of roller skating? If it is not the fun or the adventure, it is the music that the deejay is spinning while people roll to his rhythms that drive my interest. My latest video for my song, “Enjoy Life,” a dance tune with lyrics by Stephanie Jeannot and music by Mike LeShore, is definitely, the type of song that fits the mold of a song that you would hear at a skating rink. It is fast paced. It is danceable. It has a lot of energy and it is catchy. 

The video was edited and produced by me, Stephanie Jeannot with the help of my dear friend Stuart Thomas who helped to record many of the scenes featured in this visual slide show of frames. I hope that you will take the time to check out my creative videography project here: 

Thank you for making my life, that much more enjoyable. Have a pleasant week! 

Friday, February 17, 2017

Saying Yes to Your Passions

Today celebrates the birthday of two people that lived very public lives which many saw as heroes. One is the contralto opera singer Marian Anderson who was born February 17, 1902 and the other, basketball star Michael Jordan born February 17, 1963.

Unlimited Possibilities

Though they both had very different types of careers, one making magic with her voice and the other, making hoop tricks on the basketball court, what I think they had in common was purpose, belief and trusting in possibilities of achieving something greater than themselves.

Anderson said, "if you have a purpose in which you can believe, there's no end to the amount of things you can accomplish." How true are her words when you think about life and goals and attaining them?


In short, this post is just to encourage to keep pushing, to keep climbing mountains, to keep pressing forward, and to encourage you to never let go of what is important to you as an individual to accomplish. It is weird but I find inspiration just by doing what I love to do. I finally understand the meaning of encouraging yourself. 

Passion does that. I think it was passion that drove Anderson and Jordan to be who they were destined to become to the world.


I had an opportunity to collaborate on a tune with a very talented rapper that goes by the name Keez Hip Hop and a great male singer, Melly G. Please check out our song together entitled Passion which features an excerpt from my original tune Fresh 16. It is one of the many tunes on my Soundcloud page. Here is the link:

The Year to Yes

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy or Scandal or How to Get Away With Murder? All three shows makeup what is considered Thank God it's Thursday and all shows are amazing works of Shonda Rhimes.

Rhimes wrote an incredible book entitled  Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person,  and if you have not read it, I encourage you to check it out. What a great book in which she discusses the road that lead to her success. She followed her passion to become the individual who holds Thursday nights on ABC down.

This book is a quick read featuring just over 300 pages. I love the way she writes, adding all of herself into it. And as I flipped through the pages, I found many of the characters found in her popular series embedded in her personality.  Check it out for yourself!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and if you click on the link to the Shonda Rhimes book and purchase it, I will be compensated through the affiliate program. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Wherever You Are

It was once seen as a motivational state for me when my guy would come over and we would get into the midst of creating music.

I had built a little studio in my basement and in the midst of my reality., it was one of the hottest creation stations in Brooklyn, NY. We would come together and in the nuance of emotion, conceive new music that would someday develop into a song worth sharing.

When lyrics storm, the droplets of words add a measure of fun into my world. If you do not know what I am talking about, during the spring, go outside in the rains of April without an umbrella and dance in it.

I liked him because he was a pretty, honest individual. We vibed together intellectually deep and it always added color to my dullness. We could spend hours together writing, playing the piano, grabbing the guitar and strumming in a new track to the bundle under the scaffold that would soon be built into a song. And then he’d leave. And as soon as he left my foyer area and I shut the door behind him, I started to miss him.

There are some things and people that I give narrow attention but he had all my focus. I would experience enflamed anxiety as if I had not seen him in months, though he was just with me 30 seconds ago.

If music is a compilation of human tears, then my song “Wherever You Are” is the pool that I was wading in for a minute and then drowned me into a new melody to sing. For it was on one of those occasions where he left and I started missing him that this song was written. 

The words illustrate the feeling which I experienced at that single moment. You can only imagine how good it felt to let my thoughts out with piano splashes on a blank track. The lyrics which focus on the basis of love came directly after.

If you liked the little performance clip captured in Novorossiysk, Russia of me singing my song with the Sergey Koronev Project, which was a moment of pure pleasure I must say, please add the full length tune to your Apple Music playlist here:

Love Story

The dew from the morning’s womb indicates that Valentine’s Day his over. It was during the workweek though and I think that there will be people still feeling high and in a celebratory state. Perhaps you are interested in floating around the fringes of that one day and continue to smile openly with that special love in your life as the week continues.

Don’t let the mood slip you by. Maybe you can just spend a few hours getting lost in the scenes of a romantic film. Here are just a few that I love that you might find interest in engaging in together.  

1. Shakespeare in Love

I have been the biggest Shakespeare fan ever since high school when my English teacher made us memorize a passage from the Shakespearean play Hamlet, so that we could recite it in class. This movie which is a romantic comedy is about the writing of Romeo & Juliet featuring Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes and it is a movie that I just love. 

2. The Sound of Music
Most people would remember this musical as a movie that teaches about music. But the romance portion of it between Maria and Mister Von Trapp is also a beautiful story of love that since I first saw it, has been a favorite of mine. Great movie and awesome storyline.

3. Aladdin
I know, you are thinking, a cartoon movie. But, this is one of the best ones to ever come from Disney. Beautiful love story that still makes me smile every time I see it. Even til this day, this movie is one of my favorites; brings out the infant eyes in me.

4. Love and Basketball
I love this story about love being sparked at a young age that lasts forever because of the one thing that makes them human; basketball. Such a beautiful story.

5. Silver Streak
I know you will think that this is more of a comedy than a love story, but there is a love story embedded in it beyond all the fun and laughs that you will experience while watching Gene Harris walk across the screen. And what a great story it really is.

These are just a few of the movies that I have grown to love and enjoy over the years. Have you ever heard of these films? What is your favorite romantic film?

Disclosure: This is not a paid post though, I am an Amazon Associate and if you click on any of these links and purchase the items indicated, I will be compensated. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Knock! Knock! Let Love In! It's Valentine's Day

When expectations of love slip, some people tend to proceed life swept up in fear of what might not go right if letting someone new into their lives.  

Some find it hard to nod with approval when love comes knocking at their doors because past loves failed to deliver as they were intended to. Even though those hurtful memories that were experienced over the course of their lives might be a decade out of fashion, letting new love in has simply,  not been laid out in their agendas.  If this applies to you, perhaps you need a bit of clarity to change your mind. 

You are enough! You are strong enough to sustain in a relationship! You are lovable; flaws and all! You are worthy of being more than just an option! You are a quality individual who deserves to experience the force of the natural elements of love! You are strong enough to let go of the sugar that left you feeling tart. 

Walk the atmosphere knowing that. Also, be aware that you are not your past. Don’t live your life emotionally damaged because you let the wrong person in who did not realize the true value of the royalty that you are. You are more than that. And remember, to have a happily ever after, it must start with a hello and then a meeting of the minds in a harmonious state to flow blindly into love. I wrote a song entitled "Blindly Into Love" on the basis of allowing love to flow naturally into love from the minute it becomes a thought phase unto the happily ever after. The lyrics came to me while driving and so at every traffic light, my pen was to the pad and a song was spilling out onto its pages. The music was written by Mike LeShore. Check it out here:

This post was just a way to encourage you to not be afraid to allow someone to come into your world and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. When I see couples like my parents who have been together for nearly half a century, it makes me know that love can be real if first you love yourself enough to believe that you are lovable. 

If this does not apply to you, I apologize. I however know some people who do live their lives grieving over relationships that haven't been a part of their worlds for eons and they are still brokenhearted and afraid to move on and to love again; sadly. 

What a great day like Valentines Day AKA Singles Awareness Day to makes sure that we are giving the fullness of our own hearts to our own selves. Love yourself without limitations. And make sure that everyday, you find a real reason to smile. You are definitely worth that self-love.

For those who are experiencing a fine romance and a beautiful life as a team, may your love forever move mountains, conquer worlds and continue to grow. You are inspiring to the world.

Happy and blessed Valentines Day!  

Saturday, February 11, 2017

The Here! The Now! The Present!

Receive today’s gift gratefully, 
unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths. 
As you savor this gift, you find God” 
Sarah Young

Every day of the year has its well-known holiday and then also, a wacky holiday attached to it. Today we are going to focus on the latter which to me is a great idea considering that today is Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day.

 Think about it, on any given day, we can either cry over the milk that has spilled that we no longer can drink, or we can mop it up and humbly pour ourselves another glass. There is nothing you can do to change the wasted liquid. You must keep on moving. The way we deal with it depends on our disposition. But I didn’t invent this idea though it is National Inventors Day. I am just stating an obvious fact to describe in a great deal, ways to deal with one crisis after another when discord creeps in.   

So here is a thought, maybe we can deal with spilled milk by getting into the grip of music; especially since today is Get Out Your Guitar day. Even better, take a picture of yourself strumming it since it is Selfie Saturday. Looking back at the memories pictures hold, always seems to make me feel good and bring a sense of calm to my world.

So, while trying to keep our moods up and not cry over things we can no longer change, it brings us to an awareness of where we are and how we think. Today is a great day to pay attention to our thoughts since it is Stress Awareness Day.

What drives the flow of ideas within your mind? What adds up the geometry of the landscape of your emotions? Are you someone who is at ease with forgiving yourself, without reservation, for your falls when you slip? Do you make babbling excuses to reasons why you cannot enjoy the joys in life?

Today is a great day to let relief wash over. Don’t wade in the deep end of sorrows on your own, even if you live alone, feel that you are alone in your stance or are single. They say that Valentine’s Day Weekend, is a time when it brings awareness to being single with February 14th also being known as Single Awareness Day. Today, however, is Satisfied Staying Single Day.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating who you are and treating yourself to a hot stone massage, a sugar scrub spa treatment or a mani/pedi. Who said it was a crime to sit in a movie theatre or at a restaurant without an entourage? Go out there and enjoy and love yourself. If you don’t appreciate your own electricity, who else will? Today is a great day for it; especially since it is Be Electrified Day.

No need to feel sad about not getting the roses that your ex might have given you, might you have been together or feeling miserable because you see all those love commercials and you are not in a love situation. Be careful not to make your own self sick over overthinking on a day like today known as World Day of the Sick. But if you are feeling that way, hey, not a bad day to invite over your other single friends and celebrate being single. I mean, it is National Shut-in Visitation Day, so why not. Or you could visit someone who actually is shut-in for real and draw a smile on that person’s face. You could enjoy in peels of laughter as you celebrate the joys of life together while having meaningful conversations about all the idiot guys who thought they were Greek heroes of some sort, who did not make it into your here and now. No reason to feel vulnerable and alone when you are aware of the individual masterpiece that you are.

And as I conclude on this small measure of fun I was happy to experience with all you reading my post today, I also wanted to acknowledge that it is Songwriter Saturday and what better a day during this Valentine’s Day Weekend, then to share with you a song about a relationship that started in fun, had its strength and then ended with an awareness of who I am not and what I do not deserve, being the industrious soul I am. The song is entitled, “You Got to Go” which is the seventh track on my album, Finally JNote. Here is the link to check it out:

Thankful that you decided to join me in my Saturday Kitchen as I cooked up a new and meaningful post. Only, my kitchen is a notebook and my utensils used were a pen and then the keyboard to type. Hope that you enjoyed my meal of words. Please come back again. This one was baked but the next one will be slow-cooked. 

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Love Is In The Air

Here we are at the time of season when those that cling together become even more interwoven in romance.

It is a time to celebrate the relationship that has somehow survived and flourished in harmony; successfully and is still going strong. And when Valentine’s Day makes its annual appearance, a cacophony of opinions on how those who are celebrating together, should celebrate together. I have seen so many lists of recommendations on gifts and what to do on the actual holiday. And some of them were truly attention gripping I must say.

Perhaps you are just that lucky so and so that has met your match and that individual plays a song that only your heart can hear; and the song continues to bloom within. Or maybe you have found someone who has such inimitable style that you are convinced that he or she is your true match. Or maybe it is like having heaven at your fingertips when you are around that special someone that makes you know that it is truly love. Whatever it is that provokes that warm feeling of passion, it is worth celebrating.

Love is hard to find, so if you found it, love the one you are with like only you can, and make
it meaningful. Sparkle together. Enjoy each other. Show each other that you truly love each other. Make sure you share your time and your life with each other and keep igniting that flame so that it never dwindles if you feel as if it is meant to be.

Make it charming! Make it enchanting! Make it sophisticated! And remember Valentine’s Day is just a day, but if that is your true match than that special someone in your life is your everyday valentine, so make every day count.

Here is celebrating love with a cover of  "My Funny Valentine." Check it out here:

 Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! 

Happy Word Nerd Day

It is word nerd day and I have to tell you that I am a lover of words.

My favorite word in the dictionary is pulchritudinous because it is a big and delicious way of telling someone that you think they are beautiful. I think the word can fit into every and any circumstance that arises without leaving a maze of questions to follow.

I shout in triumph because I love words so much that I majored in English with the idea that it would make me a better wordsmith and just knowing that I long endured with superhuman effort to graduate with a Magna Cum Laude degree, to me is the epitome of pulchritude.

My second favorite word is sequoia because it is the only word in the dictionary that uses all five vowels and is about something I love a lot, which is a flower. How pulchritudinous is that! Somehow learning new words found lodgment in my heart and I have yet to wring it out.

Word Nerd Day

Today is all about words and so I decided to mingle in some of the words of the day that I found, to share in this moment of writing passion. If peradventure were not the Merriam Webster word of the day today, I would have beyond the shadow of a doubt been trying to stretch the battery of my experiences and my life’s long cadences to pepper this post with advice as a way to fulfill my burning desire.

When I was ready to rise hoping that the meteorologist was wrong and that a plethora of snow would not hit New York, my eyes responded sharply to the cover of white that carpeted the entirety of my neighborhood. I had to remind myself that even though my plans were trampled, my shattered hope was soluble when I saw that soluble was the New York Times word of the day for today. How pulchritudinous to focus my attention on the good things and not the bad! I can still dare to be inspired by the seeds I plant today that may one day stand tall and face the sun with beauty and grace like a sequoia.


Some other words of the day I found in different lexicons that appealed to my interest were Cooperate in the Learner’s Dictionary, Struwwelpter on and Sciographer in the Oxford Dictionary. Here I am being the sciographer, trying to direct a deeper gradation of light on this gloomy, stormy Thursday. I get it, I cannot control the weather. But, despite Mother Nature’s not cooperating with my plans, I am still extremely ambitious.  With each brush stroke of minute, the jungle of my mind is refreshed and reinvigorated as I see the wide range of possibilities that lie ahead. This task at hand was a way of getting my writing mind into action and I think I am headed in the right direction.

It is okay that this night will not be graced with the tuxes and gowns that I originally planned. Who could argue with the blizzard of facts that this weather is too bad to be driving around on the icy roads to live in bold colors? Definitely not I, the struwwelpter, who is thanking God that I did not decide to straighten my hair. It would have been a nightmare had I. Just thinking about what my locks might have looked like after being attacked by the wintry mix had I gotten it done, leaves me with a joy of laughter. I still have a slow hunch that regardless of the snow, that this is going to be a good day.


On any given day, I battle with endless energy. It is almost as if there is a canvas living within and I awaken ready to respond sharply to life artistically. Words pour out of me and boom, I have new lyrics to a song. Boom, I have a new poem. Boom, I am writing a new word and definition in my notebook to use in a future setting.

My love for words I think started when my teacher walked into the classroom and in a song said, the linking verbs were: am, is, are, was, were, be, been, become, seem, appear, feel, taste , smell , sound and, sometimes, look. I can still sing the song today as if it were really a day ago when she sang it. I guess you can see that being a writer is one of the biggest kernels of my pulchritude. And though sometimes I am reluctant to share, I am so happy when my petals open up like a sequoia and I am able to scribble my ideas.  I am a word nerd and I know it!


Monday, February 6, 2017

Lessons Worth Considering From Superbowl LI

Did you watch Superbowl LI?

I thought it was quite exciting seeing the teams both equally motivated to succeed. Every second of every part of the game was heart wrenching.

I can honestly say that this is the first year that I have ever watched so attentively. I am more of the commercials and halftime girl. I like to sit and see all the cool ads and then sing along with the cool performance of the artist that takes the stage after the second quarter of the game.

Imagination is the highest kite that can fly
Sharon Lechter

Lady Gaga was pretty good I must say. Nice hearing some of the songs I loved by her that I haven’t heard playing on the radio lately. Her energy was amazing. Her story was even more amazing. 

She navigated her days from a young age with this cycle of hope to perform at the Super bowl. And then she was given the opportunity, showed up, got into character and lived her dream. 

She was literally floating high throughout the stage. I especially loved when she was in the middle of her performance and said, “Hi mom! Hi dad!” 

Her longing to be at that moment in her career was a musical experience that she decided to not only share with her fans, but with the people who probably heard her speaking her destiny into existence all her life.

“Comfort is the enemy of excellence.”
David Hooper

As the game continued and it got more and more thrilling to watch the crazy catches made by the Patriots as the Falcons with their big lead started to get comfortable and forgot to play, the first overtime in Superbowl history and the crazy win going from being 20 points behind to winning the game. I actually enjoyed it. But what I enjoyed even more was spending the time watching, laughing, communicating and just enjoying the moments with family. I made a few snacks and we sat there, ate and enjoyed each other’s company while watching the attention-grabbing commercials, game and halftime.

I search my memory banks and remember when I was younger and my mother made it a custom to sit down at the dinner table and eat together on a daily basis. We got accustomed to the action of falling into rhythm with each other because our family dinnertime was built through routine and so we just did it without question. My heart beats like a drum for moments like that because with each interaction, I have a well needed blast.

In the Game

I had no particular attachment to any team. I was winning just by simply being with family. I remember sleeping on the bleachers of Patriot’s Stadium in the rain when I auditioned for America Idol years ago while the waters of Katrina sprinkled over Massachusetts in 2005. But, that episode and knowledge of their home base, didn’t steer my heart to root on for any team. Though as the game started to get more interesting, I started rooting for the Patriots, seeing them come back in the most unexpected way.

Made me think about the idea of pursuing our own goals and reaching out for the finish line. Sometimes we reach the dilemmas while charting our courses and come to the conclusion that the game is over despite the hard work that we put in. But don’t let the idea of a losing stop you from tackling inches towards your goals.

We are more than conquerors through him who loved us
Romans 8:37

The Patriots winning the Superbowl are great example of continuing to reach. You never know what the outcome will be if you continue on in the race, regroup and believe in yourself. If it is worth the effort to accomplish something, continue to strive and have faith.

The Patriots win was very inspiring. If anything, to drive your motivation, let something like coming back from being twenty-two points in the hole to winning, be a way of realizing, hey, that could be me too. I can win!  The song below is entitled "Keep Moving On" and is about moving forward if your dreams are worth the fight. Hopefully it will inspire you today. Check it out here:

Thank you for checking out my blogpost!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Sunday Inspiration: Enjoy Life

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired and success achieved.”
Helen Keller

I have made it my mission to write a thousand words a day and to make the words that I share positive as a way of engaging a smile in someone else.

Through it all, I will benefit by festering my own wounds that have yet to heal and have been holding me prisoner to my doubts since they first left scars. I will not admit to living a life full of immense sadness but I will say that the past took such a toll that it still has fire power over my mood because of the heaviness of the scenes where and when the bulk of negative instances occurred that sort of affected the entirety of my huge heart.

Sometimes I am happy and then I think about those moments in time which I fell and then I unhesitatingly choose to withhold my beautiful smile. I get lost in the music of the thoughts of how I lost my step and what did not go my way in these detours that shouldn't have, and then I feel this emotional fragility that should not be present but is, because the past takes over.  

I don’t know if you can relate to constantly blaming yourself for where you are or are not in the present moment that leaves a physical reminder of how you messed up. Though accomplishments may occur daily, you overlook them because you never allowed yourself to experience closure from your past. You rather stay tightly bonded to your disappointments than to experience the momentary joys which I could say are on the flip side of the bad yesterdays.

Positive thoughts are the glasses that are half full. They create the sensation of looking on the bright side. Being upright and positive would result in the good feelings that you could have though you feel nothing but numbness where the sunshine should be beaming.

Here Are Some Things You Can Do to Ward Off the Self-Negative Reactions.

1. Encourage yourself.
Make a list of the good things in your life. Acknowledge the accomplishments. Pat your own self in the back with each rung you climb. Award yourself with a golden star or a mani/pedi when you take a tiny leap into the direction of your choosing.

2. Shake it off.
Turn on some feel-good music and just dance. For one, it will burn off a couple of calories. Secondly, music has a way of creating positive energy within. It can be that one thing to instill hope in those great, big old eyes.

3. Style
When you look good, you feel great. I don’t know about you but if I dress up and look stylish, I can’t have bad feelings about myself when I am looking at my dolled up, sexy self in the mirror. Dress up! Put on some stylish jewelry on. Put some makeup on and smile at how beautiful you are in your coordinated fashion. Look in the mirror and see the fearfully and wonderfully made heir to the throne that you are. Royalty in fact. Do you actually really see the truly blessed individual looking back at you in the mirror?

4. Have a conversation
I understand that some people feel that having a therapist Is the answer to everything. If you can talk to someone and tell them your problems than it makes a difference and in some ways, I agree. However, have you ever let out our thoughts to a great friend? Do you have someone you can trust? If you get sad and think no, then you are wrong. You can always turn to God with your problems. You don’t have to worry about what you say being repeated in gossip. You don’t have to worry about being judged for your thoughts and feelings. Get on your knees and let it out. He is a great listener. IT also will feel good to get it out your system to someone worth talking to.

5. Write it.
If you think you do not have anything worth writing about, sometimes letting out your emotions on paper creates the best stories. The way our thoughts operate on us is the way that a reader will look at what is written if you share it and feel the emotion ripping through the pages.  If you had a hard lived life, write a song about it. I am not sure about you but, my favorite Mary J Blige songs were the ones that she was singing sad songs. I could sing along to like the first five albums word for word. Then she started getting happy and the songs didn’t hit the same for me anymore. Some of the questions you may have that bubble in your heart, readers and listeners might be able to relate to because we all have baggage, songs and dances alike and across the breath of society, we are no different from each other in the fact that we all had a past that we jumped feet first into. The strain of the task might leave you exhausted because I often end up in tears writing when I do write but, it will help to experience a sort of clarity that you may not have had.

6. Yoga/Meditation
Yoga helps to experience deep breathing. I can honestly say that I don’t take deep breaths enough and not because I don’t want to but because my body was built this way and I mostly take shallow breaths while awake and while in resting mode. But, meditation hushes the overthinking. It makes you focus on your breathing. It brings you to the point of quiet of mind which is the only thing that never changes in a constantly changing world. Meditation helps to bring you into unity with yourself and also helps to correct your thinking. For 15 -20 minutes a day, if you focus on just your breaths, it can help to detox the clutter in your mind.

Enjoy Life

I hope that my words find you in good spirits as it was written as I sit back and process the beautiful message I received today at church as well as my dwelling on the first month and half that has left us in the 2017 year.

I attended two funerals already; one which was a double casket one for a friend of mine who lost his brother and mother in the same week. Days later, two other friends lost their mom, another friend an aunt and a plethora of others who have lost people already in 2017.

Life is so short and considering my friend cleaning out what is left of his recently departed, something to think about is the fact that things, physical or spiritual are just things. There is still so much life to live while we are in the land of the living. If lived with regret of what should’ve would’ve could’ve happened which again are just things, our days will be hard and we will suffer. But if lived with hope of what is to come, there is so much more promise than just the things. We have been kept for a reason. Never forget that!

I’d like to invite you to check out my song, Enjoy Life, about living and enjoying life regardless of our trials. Everything has an expiration date; things, situations, relationships, people and even our trials. But our internal joy is everlasting so don’t ever let go of it. Here is the link:

Thank you for reading my blogpost. Have a wonderfully blessed day!