Monday, February 27, 2017

Getting Over A Traumatic Experience: Car Accident

I have my moments where I am overcome with sad thoughts and it happens at the same time every year, though my accident was well in the past, I still experience the psychological traumas of it.



It seems like on the anniversary of it, I start reliving the bad experience from a distance. I start getting sick; even to the point of paralysis where I cannot get out of my bed or start experiencing all these pains in my body that hadn’t been there and make me ail.

I often wonder if I should be desensitized by the situation by now. I mean, my river of knowledge is far beyond that night and time when my accident occurred. So much time has passed and so many events have taken place and yet still, my near-death experience changed my whole entire world of limitless abundance and I am back to confusion, in a frenzy and in tears, and paralysis masks my joy.

My uncle made me realize that I am able to choose my response to life the day after it happened. While I was ready to stay in bed crying and blaming myself about what happened and thinking of all the terrible things that could have happened, including my head being cut off and my life coming to a sudden end, he was ready to make me feel like life was still worth living. My mind tends to flirt with all the could have would haves and then I feel depressed and sick and I stiffen in response to the memory on the anniversary. Sometimes I wonder if I will be latched to this event forever. I guess I am still seeking clarity of how something like that could have happened to me. I even sometimes taste fear of driving, synchronous to the anniversary date, on my tongue.  

I realized through this entire experience that if we dwell on dilemmas, we will never transcend the boundaries of them. I realized that what was encountered happened and cannot be changed because it is part of my history. I realized that it is unhealthy to live a life blaming yourself for something that happened or might have happened when it is well in the past and not my present reality. And I also realized that with my story, I can inspire others and help others who might have experienced something similar to me.

When I wrote the song, Enjoy Life, it was based on this situation. I wanted to slip away and forget that life still goes on regardless of what happened. The lyrics are based on my living, breathing history telling myself that I can still enjoy life even though life happened. 

By releasing my thoughts onto paper, I made it justifiable for me to move past it. And what made it even better for me was being able to get up on stage on the anniversary of my accident, to tell people about it and to sing to them my lyrics to “Enjoy Life” to let them know that it is okay to embrace each day to the fullness of it, regardless of our situations. 

Check out the music video for my song Enjoy Life here: https://youtu.be/alV2ULnr9z8

65 comments:

  1. I had a traumatic car accident years ago and I forced myself to get back on that expressway and not let the fear get the best of me. I still think of it every time I drive that way, but I overcame it. Great song!

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    1. Yeah me too and it is quite often I am in that area. Thank you for the compliment.

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  2. My best friend died in a car accident. He was run over on the highway. It's an important reminder to me everyday to enjoy life. You never know when it will be over.

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    1. I had a friend that died about two years ago from being hit on the highway. So scary.

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  3. I like how your uncle helps you realize that you're able to choose your response. I think that is something that everybody should hear at some point after some thing traumatic like this.

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    1. Yeah! He really made a difference in my life.

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  4. I had an accident almost 11 years ago that was very traumatic. It wasn't in a car, but it was my body smashing through a window. I sometimes still have nightmares, and it took me a long time to calm down around big windows.

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    1. Oh my goodness. Sorry that happened to you.

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  5. I love your song. I can totally relate. I have experienced the same thing every year when the anniversary of my accident comes around.

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  6. Car accident is really traumatic. Good thing you were able to come out of the trauma and used it as source of strength. Great song!

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  7. I am sorry to hear about your traumatic experience but I love learning about the meaning of songs. Thanks for sharing this with us!

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  8. never been in a car accident and im sure this is very traumatic!! i hope you are perfectly fine now!

    -MY TEEN GUIDE

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  9. Oh my gosh. What a terrible experience. I have been in a fair share of accidents but thankfully nothing like this one. Yikes.

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  10. never been in any accident! and i hope i wont encounter that! hope you are finen now.

    -Karlyn Cruz

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  11. I was in a car accident many years ago too and it changed my life forever. I am still paranoid to be in another accident and tend to drive cautiously now. But that accident was part of the cause of my ongoing health problems. Most of those health problems, crept up long after the accident though. :(

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    1. Me too. I was in another one though it was minor but a NYC bus hit my car.

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  12. I had a near death experience as well, I suffer from anxiety every 6 months I have to go to the hospital for check ups and see how I'm doing... it has an effect on my sleeping, thought process, emotions, but I quickly remind myself I'm lucky to be alive and was able to come back here and be with my kids... my 5 year anniversary of my big health scare will be in May... I am a writer as well and I'm writing about my story... I'm happy you found a creative outlet such as music to help you move past the worry/hardtimes! take care and stay strong!

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    1. Oh my goodness. That is horrible. God bless you! Yeah I am happy that God gave me an outlet to cry out my inhibitions.

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  13. I was in a terrible roll over accident when I was back in college. I could have died as my car flew end over end into the median and into oncoming traffic from the other direction. After being airlifted to the hospital and then later seeing images of my SUV on fire after that crash and realizing I made it out alive simply because I was wearing my seatbelt that prevented me from flying through my sunroof, I'll never ever stop realizing what an amazing second chance at life I got. I still don't know why I'm here...but I am. I'm glad you were able to write a song about it and move past it and realize what an amazing second chance you got! There's a reason why we are still here to talk about it, or in your case, sing about it.

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    1. God kept you and that is so wonderful. You are so blessed. Thank God for you.

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  14. This is certainly something that would be hard to overcome. I've never been in any bad accidents like this one. I'm glad you're doing well though. Great song too by the way!

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  15. I am still having a hard time driving since an accident I had years ago. I definitely think pieces of it stick with you.

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  16. Such a beautiful song. I had something awful happen to me years ago and I go through many of those emotions every year on the anniversary. It's hard, but I'm so happy now.

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  17. I learned early in life to enjoy each moment. Life is short and if we aren't living in the moment we are letting it slip by.

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    1. That is true. Helpful. Thank you for saying that.

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  18. I had some crazy things happen before. You learn to enjoy the little things and be thankful for sure!

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  19. It wasn't an accident, but I too still dwell on traumatizing things from my past. I don't know if/when I'll ever get past them.

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    1. Do you> That's terrible. You will. Stay prayed up.

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  20. I'm so sorry to hear how badly your car accident affected. It sounds like PTSD. Glad to hear that your song Enjoy Life helped you. :)

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  21. Some of the best music is written with a strong emotional base. It can be a way to release important feelings.

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  22. I am so sorry you experienced that. I don't know if you ever fully get over a trauma but I do know that music has very powerful healing properties.

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    1. Yes. Music can be like therapy sometimes. It is great.

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  23. I can't even begin to imagine how scary a major car accident like that would be to experience! Thank goodness you're pulling through the fog!

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  24. Wow, thats so so so scary! It's great to see that you're getting over the traumatic experience with a strong positive outlook.

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  25. I've seen car accidents and my hubby's best friend died in one a couple years ago and it is such a scary experience. Stay strong girl.

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  26. Post-traumatic stress disorder is very real and a natural response to a near-death accident. Have you considered seeking therapy? It's good that you have music to serve as an emotional (and creative) outlet.

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    1. Maybe I should. Just to sit and talk about it to someone. Makes a difference.

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  27. I am sorry you are still dealing with this. I can't imagine what you have went through and what you still go through.

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  28. Sorry to hear that you experienced it, I'm glad that you were get over in a traumatic I know that it's really hard to forget that experienced.

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    1. Yeah it is. But hopefully it won;t be a shadow over me forever.

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  29. My husband's heart attack last year was very traumatic for me because he literally died in front of me. But he was revived and was given a second life. Life is short so let's enjoy it. I'm sorry about your traumatic experience, but glad you are here to tell the tale.

    -Lynndee

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    1. Thank God that he survived it. Wow! God is awesome.

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  30. Traumatic experiences can only heal with time. Some days are harder than others and that's okay. Lovely song and good luck getting through it.

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  31. I'm so sorry you went through this, but thankfully you survived! I do believe things like this get easier to cope with in time.

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  32. Omg car accidents are so scary!!! I was in the car with someone who drove off a freakn cliff because a water bottle went under the break pedal. Thank god the car landed on a tree branch and we were fine!

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  33. You are one brave person. I had a similar accident a few years back and it was way too hard to get over it. The physical healing was done so much faster than the emotional and mental scars that it cast

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  34. MY best friend's little sister was in a very bad car crash last summer, she talked about how it was hard for her to get back into a car let alone drive one after the accident. It's not easy to overcome something like that but I believe yall are brave women to have overcome that.

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  35. Oh I can only imagine how scary that must of been! So glad you're okay, and it's so nice to be able to write songs about situations to get your emotions out!

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  36. We have no control of most of these unexpected events . We have only control over how we respond to them. http://learn2livefully.com/how-to-deal-with-unexpected-events-in-life/

    www.learn2livefully.com

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