Gratitude, the Poem

 

Don’t look at the sumptuous moments

that are spent improving the rooms that I walk in

Don’t revisit the ideas I extricate from my mind

and apply to precipices of our fusions

Forget about the thickets I chopped away

from minds who were not ready until I got there

Leave behind the energy I poured into

everything I did just because I cared to share

No, just think of how my slaving wasn’t apple watched

Despite the months that I was there without my meets to swap

I lit up minds. I watered hearts and inspired paths.

I got my foot caught all up in the mouse's trap.

I was there doing what I do best like no other ever will

I was built more different than any cable you'll find in a mill

But thank God for rest and the strength that he builds

For resets and for steps to wipe up the spills

It’s the weekend now and I'm celebrating sleep

Let’s not pretend that alarms don't sound if you never counted sheep

And rest doesn't happen if doubt piles up like a desk's work heep

Thank God for the ability to level up on my knees

Day Three: A Horse-and-Carriage Ride

It feels almost as if I have been sketching my life with a graphite pencil lately. Intentions have led me to unravel the evolution of words within me. It feels good to simply write and enjoy the process.

And then reality hits: the more you write, the more inspiration you find, and then you write even the more. Inspiration to stand before a crowd and share becomes a thing. The motivation to submit to contests starts happening. The power to write more than just the one and set some aside for future books and submissions becomes your mindset. It’s great!

So here is my day three poem inspired by a recent trip I took to Cape May. The beauty of the place and discovering some of its history was awesome. Definitely hope to go back there sometime soon but for now, here is 1000 words to talk about my “Horse-and-Carriage-Ride.”

 

Horse-and-Carriage Ride

A fresh spring of words to say about

my horse-drawn carriage ride through monumental streets

It was as if a cathedral of lights

Encircled all around me

As we promenaded through the historical sites

The wind so strong that day, it would fly the perfect kite

History lurking in the wings

The spirit of the past echoing

Above the sound of the hooves of the horse

He walked with the striking elegance of a king on course

The air wrinkling my hair and making it dance

So I held onto the seatbelt tighter with my hands

Miles and miles through the streets

Down past the house museums and parked cars

To the beach where onlookers went to see the evening stars

As if there were an ekphrastic poem written in the sky

The sunset, so beautiful and coloresque, as it hit your eyes

And we gazed through the chordal measures of the evening tide

Suddenly soothed by the rays of the golden moonlight

Back on to the carriage to ride on through the night

Holding on to the desire to take an even bigger bite out of life

 _______________________________________________________

Questions for the reader?  

 

What is a great place to go to capture the best sunset pic that you can imagine?

What did you think of my poem?

What was your last writing piece?  Please share your link.

 

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog.

Interested in reading some of my other works. I have a few self-published projects on Amazon. Please check out my Amazing Author Page at Amazon.com: Stephanie Jeannot: books, biography, latest update

 

You can always follow me on my Instagram page. I am constantly adding new posts of live events, performances and things of that sort at http://instagram.com/jnotemusic

Enter in Week 2 of 2023 & Beyond

One week into 2023 and here we are eight days in deep.

The year just started and it seems like an entire year already passed by. Why you may ask?

I experienced a week full of work, a wake, a funeral, and a death all in a week’s time.

 

And as we enter into the second week, I just think about all the good times that I have experienced before this moment that just seemed to add a bit of weight that I did not expect to have to carry into this new year, although no one knows the day nor the hour.

As I step into this brand-new week, I think about all the blessings that seem minor which we often overlook.  It is hard to not acknowledge the gift of oxygen that God breathes into us when we watch a person in a hospital bed with tubes down his/her throat because they cannot breathe on their own. The ability to breathe on your own is something to not take for granted. I think about people who get sick from the effects of a stroke that might cause them to be unable to walk, talk or to even use the bathroom on their own. How often do we thank God for the gift of having a voice that we can use to sing, speak up for ourselves, to talk about things that are important to us or to just simply be in our right minds?

The older I get, the more I realize how short life really is and how blessed I am to see another day and to be surrounded by loved ones. This is the year to tell the people you care about that you love them. Do not ever forsake those moments of care because you never know the day or the hour that someone’s last breath may be. Love your family. Love yourself. Pray and bless the people that you care about and share the joys of life the way that you would want to receive love from others.

Life is short. Tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed. The next moment might be your Last. Live in the moment and appreciate it. May you be blessed today and always. I dedicate my song "Enjoy Life" to you as I make my mantra for each day of 2023: blessed to see another day; because I truthfully am.   https://youtu.be/alV2ULnr9z8

Enjoy life and experience it while you still have time.

Onward to 2021

 

Currents of emotion broadened my palette the minute the time square ball reached to the top of 2021.

You can never be too sure if destiny will allow you to collide with a future date because tomorrow is not promised. Looking back over 2020 has given me reason to pay attention to that truth. To be experiencing 2021 firsthand is truly a blessing.

If I was in need of a ray of light to burst in me hope, it was amplifying my voice to sing “Auld Lang Syne” that night, as I cheered to the moving image of confetti and kissing couples celebrating at that Rocking New Year’s party rolling across my television screen.

I knew that I would be obliged to find my cadence for this new set of 365. To know of the life altering events that wreaked havoc over the stretch of the past year, embracing the uncertainties of the new one still fresh with the grizzly wounds of circumstance, makes me know that I need to continue to hold on my faith in God’s miraculous provision over my life.

If I made any resolution at all, it is devoting my life to muddling along with every spurt of energy that it takes to tackle each moment. No need to mutter under my breath about how much I hate wearing the mask on my face or being unable to indulge in my routinized lifestyle of being out and about. I admit that I am struggling with the swift currents of these new ways of life. I am craving for the moments when I can get all dapper and polished again to thrust back into the way things used to be when the quarantine and the pandemic weren’t a part of our everyday vocabulary and my world was stuffed with activities. But until then, all I can do is express my appreciation for the mere fact that I am still here in the land of the living.

I’m still muddling along. 2020 was not all lost. I teamed up with the cheery and loquacious bassist, John Mueller, who helped to stitch me back together like patchwork with his happy talk and musical ideas that caused positive thoughts to ferment in my brain. We may have been under lock and key in our pandemic prison cells, but the time spent became valuable hours lumped together to come up with a cohesive set of songs that later became our collaborative album, The Stephanie Jeannot & John Mueller Project. 

I also found time to dig into books that I had been 

dying to read and also ones meant to leverage my 

strengths of honing my crafts and enlarging my 

territory; not to mention the binge watching of the 

many television shows that strew across my screen 

watching me most of the time.  

If it was never as evident before, 2020 cultivated an image that God is bigger than all our problems and that even in despairing circumstances, he still provides reassurance that is far beyond my comprehension. If 2020 is significant to perfect vision, it gave me the clarity to see what is important in 2021.

Appreciation is the most important thing. Sharing love is not something you have to bend over backwards to do. Not every tremor that is hurled into your life by a foolish skeptic, is a reason to spark another fight. If you have a dull longing to do something, make the strategic decision to do it or you might one day be riddled with regret, especially since tomorrow is not guaranteed. Appreciate God’s masterpieces of good moments and don’t let those times slip you by without acknowledging them. Love your family, friends and loved ones with heart and mind because they can be here today and gone tomorrow. And finally, keep hold to the love of God because from crisis to crisis, he makes it easier to deal with it all.

If you are interested in hearing the pandemic album that John Mueller & I created, you can check out The Stephanie Jeannot & John Mueller Project on Youtube here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mOpEdeTJ5N9SawA-9FxqwQtt_SR8nty8Q

I pray that your 2021 is filled with fascinating moments and comes with floods of wonderful blessings to fill your cup to the brim.

"In My Quietude..." by Stephanie Jeannot

April is National Poetry Month. It is a month dedicated to celebrating the art of the many poets and poetesses in the world. 

My first experiences writing came in the form of poetic verse. I love to write and during this world crisis and in my quietude, I have found ample time to put my pen to paper and to just let my thoughts flow. 

I am sad that I have not been able to place my 2020 American Poets' Society National Poetry Month Poster on the wall of my classroom this year but I am happy to put some of my own poetry on to the wall of this blog and I hope that you will take the time to read it. This poem is entitled "In my Quietude"

In My Quietude

In my quietude

I have spent a good deal of time 

inside lately

The coronavirus has been 

attacking our livelihood lately

But I don’t take 

my blessings for granted

I still acknowledge and steward 

over each day that I am handed

Surely this COVID 19 

has shifted my thinking

I’m bombarded with so much news of it 

that has left me crippled broken

In my quietude, I wonder

How many can handle 

all this darkness with ease?

How can I truly operate 

through all of this in victory?

I don’t want to accept the idea 

that this is a losing battle.

This pandemic contagion has come 

and the earth it has rattled.

In my quietude, I have come to the conclusion that 

These are some of the darkest moments 

I have ever seen.

I’m affected by all the ambulance sirens 

and this shifting economy.

I can definitely say 

that I have been pierced with sorrow.

In the twinkling of an eye, 

I’ve lost so many that I won’t be able to physically embrace tomorrow

I am hoping that these dark times 

won’t sway my viewpoint of faith

I am praying that sooner than later 

this disease will get out of our way

I guess you can say with this quarantine 

I have quiet time dedicated to my thoughts

I am trying to overcome 

the circumstance of the coronavirus that haunts

The beat goes on 

even if I let the doubts of surviving take over

My hurts sting for the world 

as it continues to lose soldiers

In my quietude, I realized that 

I have faced many trials in my life 

but not like 2020

So many good times experienced 

stay frozen in my memory

I only hope to move from the empty cityscapes 

and get back on to non-virtual social track soon

I give credit to all my inspirers 

who keep me from totally being blue

And all the essential workers 

diligently working to save so many lives

And all the prayer warriors praying 

for healing over the world and for better times

_______________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem. I am a poet at heart and also have a few poetry books that you might find interest in reading. Please check them out here: Stephanie Jeannot's Author Page on Amazon

W is For Watching "BirdBox"

My sister came over the house and told me about Sandra Bullock’s new movie "Birdbox" and after she showed me the trailer off her phone, I decided I would sit and watch the new Netflix film because the previews of it looked pretty interesting.  

I think I had an instant emotional response to the fact that it was Sandra Bullock as the leading actress since I learned to love her from watching "Miss Congeniality." Since then I can't help but enjoy her acting. I appreciated the fact that the trailer showed that she was leading kids on a journey by water with a blindfold on which seemed pretty interesting. 

Hope usually springs eternal when I decide to watch any movie because motion pictures are not like short sitcoms. You can't simply breeze through a movie in a few minutes. They take a few hours of time to be propped in front of a television to watch. But I went full throttle with the idea and on Christmas Eve, we sat and watched "Birdbox" together.

The movie had its good moments and its bad moments, but overall, I enjoyed the flick.

It would probably be advised that this movie is suitable for people beyond the age bracket of 17 because of the suggested violence but for this film, I’d say, is not suitable for anyone with the dynamic disorder of taking what is meant to be a mere cinematic delight and trying to recreate the madness in real time. Or maybe it should be rated MM for the mentally mature.

I didn’t think that people would be brave enough to decide to try grocery shopping, walking or doing other things blindfold with their kids based on scenes in a movie. I never considered that it would become a thing where people were out there trying to see if they can drive blindfolded even with bicyclist, motorists and pedestrians who at the same time are not adhering to the rules of the road. Sometimes we need a moment to pause and reassess when we see things like “hashtag birdbox challenge” “hashtag tide pod challenge” “hashtag Drake In My Feelings Challenge” all over the different social media platforms you use.

Should I now be quaked with fear that the driver in front of me might be blindfolded? We already have all these sizeable issues all around us and now this silly one that is becoming quite dangerous if you ask me. Don’t jump on the band wagon just because you think it might be fun. The fact that the end of the movie concludes in a home for blind people might be something to consider. The things we see, we die to see. People are dying to see if they can accomplish things with a blindfold on because they saw it in a movie. Is this your suicide attempt? Each character who saw died to their vision.

But if you do not see something, you cannot be moved by the image. You are in the box of being controlled by what you hear, feel, taste or smell. A blind person can’t glorify the image of the sun or be ruled by it in the morning, but they might know it is time to wake up because of the crowing of the roosters and the smell of the morning dew. 

If I didn’t see the news report of the guy driving with a blindfold that got into a terrible accident because of this crazy challenge, I would have been less likely to have gotten distracted by it. And to think, I’m clumsy with vision. I can’t see how someone would expect that driving with a blindfold on, would have been a good idea.

Let’s not all jump to living without one of the working senses we were blessed to have, all at once. Why are we so eager to pretend to be blind? There needs to be a sense of balance. 

I guess failing is often the best way to learn but I don’t think causing vehicular death because of a “hashtag challenge” is the best way to learn. So let’s stop doing these ridiculous things.

Even still, “BirdBox” is a good movie. Sandra Bullock did some incredible acting in this film as she is known to  and I give it to her. If you are interested in taking a glance at a good Netflix original movie, I’d say check it out.

It is action-packed. It is suspenseful. It is one of those movies that if you miss one moment, you miss a lot. It has intense moments and you will find yourself getting lost in the magic of this movie that might make you smile at moments and at other points of it, sad, scared and it might even make you cry. 

All I can say is, it is packed with flavor. See it for yourself and if you are someone who steps to your own beat of the drum, makes your own plans, and doesn’t get pressured by all these social media challenges to not keep up with your own ambition to accomplish your own goals, and have about two hours to watch a good old energetic horror picture, then “Birdbox” is for you.

R is For Relflecting on 2018

It’s the end of the year and there is no denying that in just a couple of days, 2019 will officially launch. As the days wind down and before we come to the collective conclusion of the year at hand, I thought it would be cool to reflect on 2018 as a way to celebrate the small little wins.

Is it me or have the days run out of patience as they seem to go by faster and faster the older I get?

It feels like yesterday when we were all singing the Prince Anthem, “1999” and coming into the year 2000 and now it is about to be 2019. Am I the only one who feels moment by moment crying out for my attention only for the experience to speed on by at breakneck speeds? I will say that I have been wearing my seatbelt, but I can’t help but to feel the whiplash of time that keeps ticking. But thank God I can feel it because there are many who have not made it to this point and to be here in the land of the living, still, is a blessing that I can own up to.

2018

In 2018, New York had one of the chilliest and longest winters I can ever remember. As the cold slipped out of the year’s clutches, the warm weather harnessed feelings of jumping into the ocean’s waters more than I’d ever been motivated to feel the sand under my feet on hot summer nights in my whole life.

Bishop Loughlin Memorial High School Small Band

Once the latest school year was set in motion, it’s been working hard toward constant building and guiding the next generation of musically creative, young singers beyond the gates of their high school days and into their lushly orchestrated futures. Hopefully in their tomorrow, they will make a mark on the world with their aural charisma when you will bop your heads to their music echoing through your ears someday. They definitely have enormous potential.

With my mentor, Wayne Holmes

There were days where I harnessed melancholy moments where I delved deep into the heartfelt blues that made me want to cry me a river and I felt stripped bare emotionally. 

I lost a few people that were close to me including my mentor, Wayne Holmes, who was willing to share his mark of genius with me while he was alive. He pushed me into singing and helped to break me out of my shell. Losing him and the others that affected my life that went on to be with the Lord, felt like needle sharp thorns piercing at my heart. 

I used my gift of singing far into the night on many of the days I was graced to see; some days even the point of exhaustion. But I carried on with this level of ambition and spunk that has not left me yet. If you ever listened to me sing or were witness to a live performance, then you heard the sound of striving. Even when I felt intimidated by the roaring stadium sized collections of critics and naysayers, I still had faith in my own story because I know who I am and I have passion as deep as a river that makes me sparkle with a burst of energy and enthusiasm whenever a mic is in my hand.

2018 Dr Mary Umolu Jazzy Jazz Festival

How blessed I am that God opened doors to opportunities to sing on stages this year that I never thought I would see like with the New Rochelle Jazz Orchestra or at Citifield where I got to dance with and sing to John Starks or having the opportunity to remake the old Whitney Houston classic, “Love Will Save the Day,” and seeing my name on a vinyl record for the first time. You can check out the tune here: 

These were some of the many pieces de resistance of my 2018.

Some days I experienced dramatic bursts of aggravation because of all the pressures I felt from my own impatience with petty little things and acknowledged stubbornness that often seemed to go on autopilot. Back in the days, I would get liquored up to soothe my troubles, but I can crackle with excitement that on January 1, 2019, I will be five years alcohol-free because of a resolution I made back when 2014 kicked into high gear.  Hopefully I can do the same in the coming year as I attempt once again to rekindle a healthier lifestyle habit, on purpose.

First Sunset of 2018

And then there were times throughout 2018 where earnest expressions of joy, enthusiasm and love bloomed like a wildflower. But there was always hope peering from behind the door that gave me a blast of energy to link to the reality of it all and I am most thankful for the improvisational spirits of all those who were willing to dream right alongside me.  

As I recount my experiences, there were more good than bad, and I am thankful for it all. And as we go onto greater things in the coming 2019, all I can say is that I hope it is colorful, lively and luminous. I have an optimistic outlook and look forward to seizing the days of the new year as they come. I also hope to work towards improving myself consistently so I can build more quality into my own being which will require round the clock care which I hope I can maintain so I can experience the distant rewards before me.

I can’t believe that the year has come and gone so quickly, but before the sun of 2018 descends, I wish to you, immeasurable joy in the new year. I hope it greets you with its charming personality and keeps you feeling spiritually uplifted until the morning light of 2020. 

Savor every blessing as the year rolls along. I hope you accomplish many things and are so busy climbing up the ladder that you are able to not dwell too much on the daily frustrations or the temper of the times. Enjoy the confines of 2019.

From An Upbeat Rock Tune to a Jazz Standard in the Key of G

I am going completely off the top here with a goal of finding the right words to let the excitement for this life I have lived and am living, roar out louder than a lion in the Sinharaja Jungle in Sri Lanka. I will go as far as saying that the wellsprings of integrating my norm with experience has given me just a bit more modes of expression to work with. I won’t be stretched too thin trying to translate my words into a language that you can understand. Instead, I will use this point in my scribing as a key moment to let my thoughts unravel in such a way that they manifest a response to the topic at hand; my getting old. Hopefully someday we will be hanging in a village together near you to discuss it in person, but for now, I will try to let the words flow in the best manner that I can.

Who I Am

Through education, exploratory work and support, I have been able to maneuver through life in the time frame that was set for me by the person who custom created me to do so. I wish I had a handful of photos to prove it, though I am known to keep momentum of my journeys by taking selfies to post on Instagram in these exotic places I have discovered the harmonic depths of, but most of my memories which stemmed from these personal adventures, stay frozen in time in my mind and so I have the intimate agony of trying to let them flow out into your capture as sweet as the Kelimutu Crater Lake in Indonesia.

I was able to connect with cultures that were not exactly in my lane but I wanted to know more about what was beyond my picket fences. I Mean behind them was a great upbringing, quality education, culture, family and love. Beyond them was something quite different than what I had called home after I learned how to no longer crawl and walked right into the thing we call life. 

Some of my habits I encountered were as draining to them as theirs was to mine. Culture you call it. How can you extract someone out of their nature? Others will call ways that are different to them annoyances.  I wanted to experience life for myself anyway. I trusted my instincts and withstood the criticism while I tried my best to nip other people's  weirdnesses in the bud. I mean, I was having a good time, so why not?  I thought then that no one should ever wipe clean from their agenda, experiencing the vibrant hues of another cultural more if able to take in the goodness of it and allowing yourself to be exposed to other methods of getting through the days and nights. I have learned that with understanding comes tolerance and to let go of the blinding vision of just what I know and what I am told is important can be a good thing but then again, who said that other ways are better? Yet, you never know if you don't see for yourself.

As my age continues to rise to a climax, I look at all my striking features and see the past epochs of time deep in the abyss of my eyes. My smile shines like the brightness of heaven. I remember so many different events that made me transpose the version of me from who I was to who I have become. All the obstacles I had to overcome to get to this place makes the oasis in which I stand today, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

I know that the world keeps on turning no matter what earthquakes come to bring turbulence into my life. I have a foot wedged into the door of tomorrow and yet, my head sometimes still faces yesterday as I revive old mistakes from the days of my youth. At some point, I will eventually spare myself the headache of stressing over what could have, should have, would have been because I know it is pointless. What is, is what matters the most.

Who I Was

My life was once an upbeat rock tune that was way too darn hot, with mature language and rated R. I had exterior perfection but what’s it all mean if you do not have presence of quality mind? I didn’t look at the world I inhabit as ambitiously as I do now though the rhythm of life in that particular moment was totally gnarly. But nothing changes if guilt does not gnaw at you sometimes. And that is when I knew that it was time to adjust my sails and simmer down the beat.

My Song and dance started to change for the better. I had the desire to know more about how I could revise my being and to make better decisions. Even the smallest effort could result in a monstrously big change. I learned Jeet Kun Do under the guidance of Bruce Lee, kicked my old torrent in the bud, increased my knowledge which made me change in direction and thought and social situations, and now I am a jazz standard with horn and piano solos in the key of G.

My senses have reconvened after all these years. Everything along the path that lead me to this cakewalk has facilitated my current stance. Life has been a constant giving of myself and taking pieces of who I never thought I would be.  I guess you can say, attitude sometimes can be like a Broadway play for the enjoyment of many. I can admit that I have extrapolated from the strings of a Marionette in many instances. I mean, we have all done things that we wish we didn’t do in the past because we didn’t have discernment to choose what was right. Or maybe we did, but we took a detour and then suddenly, reality came gushing at an alarming speed and it forced a shift in focus.

And Now For the Feature: Who I Am Becoming

Who said that there was an appropriate age to craft a new strategy? Who said we couldn’t react to our own messes and decide to clean them up? And who said, we couldn’t create our day around planting new seeds in the garden to flourish into the sun?

What I can say is, I have seen and done a wealth of things. I have been through much wear and tear and now I am trying to simply stay proactive while getting by in this world.

I was once addicted to pain, not letting go and pivoting back to all the hurts that I never forgave myself for. I lived like a talebearer reprising stories in my mind and letting my heart shatter countless times. But knowing that experience sprung from blood, sweat and tears are the mere fabric of life. I see all these greys on my head and I know that I have lived. Now I use my past encounters as inspiration.

I stand in the mirror looking at all the unique foundational elements of the woman God created in me. I am a person of poise. I have pride and belief in my own heritage. Blessings fall fresh on me like the therapeutic waters of Montecatini. I know for a fact that I am a multidimensional, complex character and I am okay with that. And I look at all my wrinkles and realize that I have come a long way. And I look at all my scars and am grateful that I have won victory over numerous battles. And today, I weep with joy as I thrust into my birthday week with nothing but history in front of me, songs to sing about it and a voice to let them ring.

A new age and a new purpose is about to be mine and I know age is nothing but a number but, I am talking about 1,229,904,000 seconds of breathing in life. Time has moved along fast. When a parent says their child is 4 going on 20, they are not kidding. Time waits for no one and if you do not pay attention, you will let it pass you by without even flinching. Every anniversary of my birth date makes me a little depressed as I think about the years of experimentation and atmospheric turbulence that preceded my today, but then it makes me realize that there has been so much more of the insanely stylish positives to fashion around my heart and a promising future to think about. 

So many breakthroughs and so much to be thankful for in this life that did not break me because God has always been there interceding for me. I am so loved and very thankful to sit in this iron throne of age coming to grace my life. 

Who Inspires Me To Think Of The Endless Possibilites

 “An appearance of prosperity attracts attention always, 

with no exceptions whatsoever” 

(Napoleon Hill)

I grew up with the intense experience of being compared to my older sibling and so my whole life, I tried to be the boisterous audience, watching her and drawing nourishment from her influence.

I wanted to be like her volcanic self. She was cool. She was popular. She was beautiful and she had this supple rhythm to her life that made me want to take a quantum leap away from who I was. Her intelligence was just the tip of the iceberg. She found ways to caress the hearts and minds of our parents and impressed them on every level.

But I came to terms with the idea that we might never be the same because we were so different. She knew how to extend herself individualistically and get things done. I did things in my own customary fashion but never with the concerted effort that she would put into it to get things done in the fashion she did and in the time that she did.

She has always had a great influence on me. With thought and care, she followed through on her goals and made things happen and never seemed to lose that sense of continuity. Nope! She absorbed a nice groove and kept it steady on the beat.

I look up the balance of my life and consider all the intense experiences that I have lived through. She has always been an intrinsic part of my life except my days were spent more with this turbulent sensibility. I lived my life on the brink. I danced to the rhythm of my own songs. I lived with all these emotional struggles which I guess you can call middle-child syndrome.  And the only thing that made my heart flutter was the beauty of nature, books, food and high-voltage music. I was growing up as a future artisan of the world and still with a penetrating influence from the only big sister I would ever have. I can honestly say that of the good things that I planted my feet on, the flurry of activity was often guided by what I thought might gain me a glorious response from her. She was living this model life and I was living with the penchant for getting on the stage and caressing a ballad with a live orchestra. Yet she always had forward momentum and I was battling all the negative energy that would be conjured up in my mind that somehow held me as prisoner in the space and time of the lewdness of my youth where it had happened.

So, I can honestly say that being around my sister is to be in an atmosphere of

tremendous power. She creates ideas in me that opens doors to new life. I can only hope to be like her one day. And then one day out of nowhere, when my parent comes and explores my world while I am on the stage giving all of me into a performance, it leaves me feeling strong and accomplished and that somehow, I used her modally based improvisation in my life to get their hearts propelling towards me with interest. All I know is that having a big sister in my life has definitely made me tweak my design a bit and lately has raised my morale. I guess you can say that you should never let family fall out of your favor because even if it is with a briskness of tempo that it takes them to come around and think that you are more than the equivalent of a tough Monday morning, when they turn their attention towards you, it is like the joie de vivre to feel valued in their presence.

Thankful for my sister. Thankful for her influence on me. And thankful to have a reason to even try; even if the bedrock of my work is to try to impress the people who made me feel at home in my own house when I was growing up all ebullient and innocent. But, even until this moment and seeing her thrive and thrusting through with this ferocious intensity and with this rhythmic acuity, makes me want to push harder with a jolt of urgency to be like her. She gives me a reason to think of the endless possibilities if I never give up. Today, I am clapping enthusiastically for her as she celebrates life. Pardon my outpouring of words but you deserve to know the truth; you inspire me and thank you for the wellspring of influence you provide for me. Hope your day is all that and more.