My Teacher Made Me Do It! Happy World Teacher's Day!

It wasn’t my fault that we got caught underneath the cover of the sky when the sun came and claimed it. 

We had been told many times to go out and face tomorrow, but it wasn’t our fault that it was already tomorrow. Early morning for that matter and time to go back and to do what we were used to doing routinely in the structure of our lives.

Some may have had genuine concern for us because we hadn’t slept. We never worried. We just jumped in the shower and went about our business. We were always  jittering with excitement about what was next on our agenda. We had learned to go with the flow of things since we had been doing these crazy things for quite a bit of time now. Um like forever! 

We never were in a position where we would be frozen by fear over not being able to accomplish the task for the day though we were almost on empty after we’d been running almost 48 hours without sleep. We owned the night and then we owned the day no matter what; even if our heads never hit the pillow and our hearts beat violently because our engine never rested.

But then you come to a point when you realize and accept with openness that you are not young anymore. It is sad, but I will admit that I am bathed with shame over the things my body can no longer withstand because I am no spring chicken. Sometimes I weep in the darkness over the fact that I must sleep in order not to overrun myself because I now get tired. And then I realized that relaxation and creativity go hand in hand.

It wasn’t my fault on the night when I decided to honor myself and give into the thousand count thread pillows that were calling my name. My energy was plummeting. How could I run like a sheep with no shepherd? I could hardly keep my eyes open to even see what was before me. And that is when I realized that everything must change like the season changes from summer to autumn. I must change with it. 

I have vivid memories of my childhood. I may have gone spinning out of control a bit. Okay, a lot but, it echoes in my heart because it was good. 

I shook my groove thang. I fell, and got up. I learned new things in the process. I wasn’t this delicate flower that fell to the ground because I was unable to shine my worth with true conviction in the sun. I was bold. I was tough. Yet still, I did not truly accept my own being or value the temple that was the whole of me then but I am different now. 

I know my purpose. I can smile triumphantly. I am victorious. And I am growing with strength for real because last year around this time and the years before that, I got depressed and cried a bit when my birthday was approaching and I knew the number of year would go up again. LML! But, my slant on life has changed. I have a broader perspective. I am at peace with myself. I feel purposeful. I can happily look back over my life and say triumphantly, "Je suis toujours La" and the joy that I now feel about that truth ain’t my fault!

Speaking of being Toujour La,  last year for my final project in my French class, my teacher made us do a presentation of our choosing completely in French. I could say thank God I am Toujour La after trying to complete such a difficult task. 

Yeah, I have Haitian roots and yes the official language of Haiti is French, but try to speak it in my home and I am told to speak in English. I am not the best at it., LOL! But I chose to write a song and entitled it "Toujour La."  I apologize to all you true French speaking people out there. I tried my best to complete an entire tune in French and it is on Soundcoud and I hope you will listen here: https://soundcloud.com/stephanay-jnote/toujour-la-by-stephanie-jeannot

I can only blame my teacher. She made me do it. SMH! She was the best of the best of teachers though. Happy world teacher’s day to you Dr Ruiz. You made me do it. I needed a grade. You gave me one. I passed my class. I graduated with high honors. I did it for the educational value. But in truth it wasn’t my fault.